Promoting children’s social-emotional development
Parenting has evolved significantly beyond merely addressing children's basic needs like feeding, bathing, and sleeping. Today’s parents often find themselves striving to "do everything right," leading to anxiety about their natural abilities to nurture their children. So, where is the balance? This article aims to highlight simple, everyday strategies that can effectively foster children's social-emotional skills.
Encouraging self-reflection
One strategy to encourage children to self-reflect is through appropriate questioning techniques. An effective therapeutic tool is asking “What’s on your mind right now”? This open-ended question will target the exploration of your child’s cognition – in the form of thoughts, images, internal dialogue, ideas and representations that open the door to their world inside. This way you will be able to engage in a conversation that not only brings you closer together, but it will also promote the development of social-emotional skills. Here’s how a typical conversation might unfold:
Parent: What’s been on your mind today?
Child: Oh, I’m thinking about the science test we have next week.
Parent: How do you feel about it?
Child: I’m feeling confident as I prepared for it but I’m worried I might have missed something as it will determine my end-of-term grade.
Parent: Are your friends worried about it as well?
Child: Georgi is freaking out about it as usual, but Ivana says we have nothing to worry about. Oh, I just remembered what Georgi shared with me today…
This scenario aims to represent how such questioning can give you an opportunity to emotionally nurture your child by helping them to build awareness of their own emotional states and the one of people around them. Self-reflection helps us to narrate and give meaning to our experiences, and understanding and being aware of what is happening with us is the foundation of socio-emotional development.
The power of words
While questioning techniques are a valuable tool for promoting self-reflection, some children might still struggle to verbalise their experiences and emotions. This is true for children who are at preschool age and learning to use speech and language effectively, but it might also appear as a difficulty for older children. In these instances, parents can use their own socio-emotional skills to help children navigate their internal world. Words and narratives provide context and meaning to both our surroundings and our feelings.
Instead of asking a direct question, parents can observe and offer an interpretation of what the child might be experiencing. For example, by offering an opportunity to check-in with themselves “I imagine you are feeling upset because you had an argument with your friend today?”; we help children make sense of an emotion and connect feelings with words. This also serves as validation and teaches them that their feelings are normal and acceptable, fostering effective self-soothing and self-regulation.
Research indicates that parents can narrate and give context to emotional experiences from as early as infancy. A mother talking with her baby provides the foundation for the development of socio-emotional skills through the utisilisation of the innate relationship and attachment that exists from the prenatal period.
Conclusion
By employing simple yet effective strategies like open-ended questioning and verbalising emotions through language, parents can significantly enhance their children's social-emotional development. These practices not only cultivate emotional awareness but also strengthen family bonds, equipping children with the tools they need to navigate their feelings and relationships throughout life.